


A Valentine's Challenge

by DCJoKeRHS



Series: IronFam [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Fun, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Peter Parker Swears, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Endgame, Precious Peter Parker, Sorry Not Sorry, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark-centric, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 23:08:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17734397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DCJoKeRHS/pseuds/DCJoKeRHS
Summary: Tony Stark is a great man with a great arse.On the good side, it means Everyone can find something to like about the loveable idiot.On the bad side,Everyone can find something to like about the loveable idiot.So then Valentine's Day comes along…And with it, like every Valentine's since The Endgame, comes The War…





	A Valentine's Challenge

“Hey, Friday? Is Tony still asleep?” Sam asks, speed-walking towards the kitchen, a large, pink-wrapped box in his hands.

“Yes, Mr Wilson, though currently Mr Rogers is waking him with Breakfast.”

Clint immediately bursts from the vent above Sam's head.

“ _SERIOUSLY_!?” he roars, “I was gunna wake him!”

“Boss is unlikely to enjoy listening to ABBA at all, I suggest you remove the set up you have built as soon as possible,” Friday replies, voice surprisingly droll on her last comment.

Clint whines, before popping back up into the vents.

At which point, Natasha walks buy, casually carrying a half-asleep Peter over her shoulder.

“What the hell?” Sam asks, confusion crinkling his features.

“Tony's going to need intern-son cuddles, keep up!” she replies.

Sam rolls his eyes, before tailing her, finding Bucky already has already finished baking cookies.

Sam takes one look, sees the scattered presents everywhere and _huffs_.

“Right! If we're going all out, presents are gunna get piled up neatly on the coffee table or I'll let Redwing loose!” he snaps.

“Nice to know I'm _finally_ getting some backup,” Rhodey says, hefting a green package in, two other packages on top in yellow and orange as Natasha lowers Peter onto the couch…

  


Tony wakes with a small huff.

“Fri, how much?” he groans.

“Seven hours, 35 minutes, eight seconds,” Friday replies.

“I thought you might want some proper breakfast, today!” Steve says, surprisingly close.

Tony shoots up with a small curse.

“Woah! Give a guy some warning!” Tony says.

“I did, when I got you to sleep yesterday,” Steve chuckles, as Tony pouts, reaching out for the tray.

If there is _one_ thing Tony can _never_ refuse, it's Steve and Bucky's cooking.

“Bucky's baking cookies, they should be done by the time you're up!” Steve smiles, as though reading Tony's mind.

“Oh really?” Tony asks, quirking a brow, before _moaning_ as the taste of Bucky and Steve's homemade toast and fresh butter rolled over his tongue, the crunch sounding _just so_ as Steve acts like the perfect morning grace, helping Tony get out the suit he wants for the day ( _the salmon one_ ) and handing Tony orange juice.

Tony hums as he drinks, before digging into the eggs and bacon accompanying the toast.

It's easy to tell it's the locally sourced, organic stuff Steve _somehow_ manages to get fresh and right from the butcher's.

Tony lets himself float in the morning meal of Ambrosia, before clearing his throat with another sip of orange.

“Hey Fri, what's on today's agenda?”

“Mrs Potts has taken the liberty of clearing your schedule for the day and Dr Banner and Colonel Rhodes have cleared things with both other staff members and SHIELD to give you the day off,” she replies, “Though Dr Strange has asked permission to visit.”

“Permission granted, he can come round in‒ how long?” Tony turns this question to Steve.

“Well, you've got quite a lot of gifts today and last I heard, Nat’s managed to get Peter to start waking up on the couch, so… An hour?” Steve says, thinking with a slight frown.

Tony _chuckles_.

“Sure, got it, Fri?”

“Message is sent and received,” Friday replies, omitting the tiny detail about a portal opening above the coffee table so another present can join the heap, making Rhodey curse as it almost sends half the stack tumbling.

 

When Tony and Steve finally enter the lounge, Tony chuckles.

“That's _definitely_ a lot more than last year,” he hums.

“Mornin’ Mis'r Stark,” Peter greets, reaching out for a morning cuddle.

Tony flops by Peter to do so, smile softening as he gives a low hum.

“Morning, Clingster,” he replies, not really noticing or caring about the eyes watching him: they've _been_ through this and he _knows_ already how _weird_ everyone gets on this day.

Honestly Tony just thinks they're just wary of all the gifts…

(Not that he knows it goes _beyond_ the simple idea of _protectiveness_ everyone suddenly had)

Peter sits up, rubbing an eye.

Sometimes Peter will recognise who gave Tony what.

Today is no exception.

“Rhodey brought in that one,” he says, pointing, “And that one's from Dr Strange…”

Tony chuckles, as he nods.

“Nice to know!”

Pete hums, happily using Tony as a leaning post.

After presents, the day becomes a free-for-all, which _definitely_ didn't change _this_ Valentine's Day; Sam and Bucky walk-raced each other to give Tony the roses that had arrived at the front desk, one going faster, then the other trying to go even faster until they were basically one second away from full-out racing, only to be beaten by Stephen, who _teleported_ in front of them. Wanda and Clint were trying to give Peter and Tony a live show and out-do eachother when Tony only wanted them to test out the gear he had in the Lab, only for Dum-E to roll over and end up the right way up again, giving an offended beep at Wanda and Clint like it was _their_ fault, which sent Tony into hysterics over his eldest electro-kid, cackling as he pats Dum-E's head, only for U and Butterfingers to decide that _they too_ want the lettings and zooming over.

 

It was only Peter ( _un_ _fortunately_ ) deciding to fawn over the robots that gave Tony time to escape from being locked in the lab and fed a probably-poisonous smoothy.

“ _Mr Stark! Don't abandon me_!” Peter's screech reaches him from halfway across the corridor.

“Sorry kid, but I know your metabolism survives a lot better than mine!” Tony calls back, trying not to laugh.

It worked _every_ year and Peter _still_ hasn't worked out scrap-metal-fetch is a good enough distraction for _him_ to escape, too.

 

The only thing that _wouldn't_ be usual _this_ year was Tony sneaking out.

Okay, correction: him sneaking out and starting a game of Tony-Hunting _was_ traditional, but not the fact of why he was in _a suit_ this time.

But this is _Tony_ :

He has _one_ more thing to escape when it comes to his V-times Escapees.

“ _Son of Stark_!”

Or more, three things.

“Y'know! I'm supposed to get a headstart!” Tony replies, thrusters forming on his feet as he escapes a shot of magic.

“Says you!” Loki cackles, as Deadpool jumps up and down in glee from the top of the ten-story building he's using as a vantage point.

“ _My_ turn!” he squeals, before jumping from the building, pulling out a grappling hook from his waist.

Tony dodges at the last second, grinning as he finally sees Redwing.

Vision is _there_ and stopping Sam's mechanical pet in _seconds_.

“I believe it is my turn to capture Tony today,” Vision says, voice calm as a solid _crunch_ comes from below.

“ _MY EVERYTHING_!” Deadpool screams, sending Tony into a laughing fit.

Thor _almost_ succeeds, making Tony have to dodge a lightning bolt, but waiting where he'd dodge to to try and grab him.

But he'd used this tactic two years ago.

And Tony had _a shield_ this time, the mix of metal, nano-bots and plastic meaning a safe escape _under_ the bolt for Tony.

Tony dives low, dodging both Clint and Nat as Clint first tried to _also_ fall on him, only to land on the fabric roof of an outdoor hotdog stand, while Nat’s lasso Tony used the heated-up shield to burn out of the way.

Steve tries a simple jump-tackle when Tony pauses to get a hotdog from the stand Clint had fallen on (“sorry about the oversized pigeon,” Tony had said when handing over _three hundred dollars_ for the damages and hotdog, “Keep the change.”)

Steve had ended up falling back down the manhole he'd come up from in full Captain America armour.

“Nice muscles!” Tony calls down, before wincing at the sound of a _SPLASH_.

Dodging yet _another_ attempt from Loki, this time working _with_ Thor, Tony's shield gains wheels as he zooms under a moving van, which Rhodey flew out of the back of in his own suit.

“Haha!” Rhodey cheers, diving for Tony.

There's the sound of scraping armour as Tony _rolls_ onto his feet, throwing his shield towards Wanda to stop her from levitating him from her vantage point in a hotel, only for Tony to run into a forcefield…

 

To dodge Stephen, using his now-fully-formed suit to _smash_ through the front doors, escaping into the street.

“ _ALMOST_! You did that last year!” Tony calls back.

“I reinforced the door this time?!” Strange yells, giving chase in the cloak.

“We did all that anti-magic-mojo back with Thanos! I still have the research!” Tony replies, dodging into an alley then another quick dive under a bin, coming out of the armour, which flies on for a while, as he rolls into a homeless person's abandoned blankets, waiting until he hears Steph's gone, before getting out and _legging_ it to the fire escape…

 

Which he has to dodge Bucky at the top of.

“Ooh! You got an update from Shuri!” Tony remarks, ducking under Bucky's metal arm, “Let me look at it in two days!”

“You'll get to look at it tomorrow!” Bucky laughs, as the arm _extends_ , but Tony had _seen_ the slight indent in the upper-arm that meant a possible extension, so dropped from the side of the building onto a lower rooftop, then from that and back to the street, using his upper muscles to use window-ledges to slow his momentum further.

Finally, a second lot of armour sweeps Tony into its grasp, having been disguised as a second redwing…

 

It's the website around the corner that catch him.

“ _YES_!” Peter cheers, “A whole day if tech, Lego and Star Wars!”

“Nope!” Tony says, burning out of the web and up into the air.

“ _FUCK_ !” Peter yells, as this means the piece he'd been hanging from was _also_ burnt through.

 _He just wanted his pseudo-father day_!

  


Then Tony spies the helicopter.

“That's new!” he remarks, deciding to greet the passenger who was leaning out the side…

 

 _With a taser_!

 

“Nice!” Tony grins, giving the women inside a thumbs up…

Until the cattle-prod is used.

He grabs it and throws it over his shoulder, as Pepper jumps past Jane to try and grab Tony.

He shuts the door on her, though he ensures none of her fingers get caught in the door, as he heads downwards.

 

 _Nonstop labtime is_ MINE _!_ Tony mentally cheers…

Before the Hulk falls from _the other side of the plane_ , Tony yelping as he barely dodges him, Big and Green falling on Scott, who'd been reaching up from below, once again the size of another small skyscraper, turning Scott's cheeky cackling into a yelp if “ _Come on_ ! I _never_ win!”

“ _Three years ago_ !” Tony calls back, _Never again_!”

“It was _just_ some of my friends!”

“It was a _farm_ of _dog-sized ants_!”

Waspy _almost_ succeeds, but, again, _dodging_.

Tony flies up to check where the sun is.

 _Almost_ ! The sun's _almost_ started to set!

So, in all his confidence, Tony heads for this little Café about thirty minutes from the Tower…

 

Only to see Sam waiting, jumping up and towards Tony…

Only for T'Challa, of _all_ people, to intercept Sam.

“Thank you!” Tony calls.

“You won't be!” T'Challa replies, Tony immediately stopping as soon as he hears the King's tone.

“ _YOU GAVE ME AWAY_ !” Shuri shrieks from by the Café entrance, “ _I WANTED A NEW BROKEN WHITE BOY TO PLAY WITH_!”

Tony winces, thankful for the warning, as he dodges a vibranium spear, looking up to see Okoye.

“How long left, Fri?” he asks.

“Ten minutes,” Friday replies, as Tony shoots towards the Tower…

Only for, at the twenty-second mark, someone to jump on him and cling on, as Tony quickly crosses his arms against the lounge's windows…

 

“I _diiiid_ it! I _diiiid_ it!” Peter cheers, “Family Time with Shuri, Harley and Mr Stark! Yeeee-!”

He's cut off mid-cheer with a yelp, as Bruce pulls a little too much on a stitch.

“You gave yourself an open fracture from the kitchen counter _and_ got glass piercing your suit, how the hell are you so happy?” Bruce asks.

“I won!” Peter replies, “I was savin’ up so I'd have pocket money for Disney World since Tony's only been _once_ and that was in the seventies at best, then Shuri's been wanting to go but her duties have been getting in the way and Harley's from a low-income lot like me so has never been able to afford it! It'll be _AWESOME_!”

“So you chose there for post-Valentines?” Bucky chuckles, watching Bruce work as Dr Cho was having to re-break and properly heal a now-clean Steve's arm, as Clint held an ice-pack to his jaw.

Peter _grins_.

“Oh! And Harley's joining in next year!”

Tony chuckles, watching over everyone as he goes to order tickets for Disney World…

  
  



End file.
